Revised Jun 6 2021
No. 51. Mr. P. Heywood to Miss N. Heywood
Oh! my truly dear Sister, what an unusual sort of Pleasure did I Yesterday (when I at length received the Parcel) enjoy from the Perusal of those beautiful *Pieces of Poetry contained in the Pocket Book; the Effusions of such a Heart as certainly never before occupied a human Frame! — Can I ever have it in my Power to shew by future Actions that I am worthy of such a Sister? — No — 'tis almost an Impossibility. — But shall I not then endeavour by the
* see Page 12 &c [below]
utmost Cautions to attain a Degree of those perfections my beloved Nessy has in her enchanting Poem represented me as already possessing? — Certainly! — Am I not bound the strongest Ties of Blood, Friendship, & Affection? — then let me ever have you my sister before my Eyes, that by imitating your transcendent Worth, I may at length deserve the Epithets you bestow! Ah! Nessy — how my Heart at this Moment overflows with Gratitude & Affection — then how wou'd it leap within me were I to behold, to converse with & — embrace to my Bosom my long-absent & dearly beloved! — But alas! I am running on like a silly Boy! I have to encounter the greatest Difficulties, Unfavorable prejudice, & perhaps Injustice, e'er that supreme Happiness can be mine — Yet have I not on my side Truth, Conscience, & above all, that Omnipotent Being whose protection I have so often experienced, & whose Anger alone I dread — therefore why shou'd I entertain a Doubt of his protection now? — No — I doubt it not, & placing the utmost Confidence in his Aid, I dare flatter myself with the Hope of seeing that long-wished for happy, happy Day, which will afford that Felicity my Nessy wishes by returning to her & to my much-honor'd & afflicted Mother altogether Innocent!
In return I have sent you some of the *Sublime — dont court your risible Faculties at my Expence; 'tis but an Endeavour at an Art I have scarcely any Notion of; & upon a subject which I cou'd not describe as it deserves — it happened (which is rather remarkable) on that unfortunate Day which deprived us of our most regretted Parent — The
* see Page 21 [below]
Dream which occasioned this poetical Attempt I shall never forget so powerful was its Effect upon my Mind — I owe to it all my present Serenity, & it was this alone which enabled me to support the many Troubles I have had to encounter, I hammer'd at it while at 'Taheite & after writing it I learnt it by Heart, & now you have it from recollection. — Adieu my dear Girl I hope you keep up my Mothers Spirits, for I know you are well qualified to do so. — my tenderest Love & Duty to her, my dear Brothers, & Sisters
your faithfully aff't. Brother
P: S:
I send you a few Locks of my Hair.
[The first of several poems from page 12.]
On the tedious & mournful Absence of a most beloved Brother who was in the Bounty with Captain Bligh at the Time of the fatal Mutiny which happened April 28th. 1789 in the South Seas & who instead of returning with the Boat when she left the ship — stay'd behind.
Tell me thou busy fluttering Telltale whey —
Why flow these Tears — why heaves this deep-felt sigh,
Why is all Joy from my sad Bosom flown,
Why lost that Chearfulness I thought my own;
Why seek I now in solitude for Ease,
Which one was center'd in a Wish to please,
When ev'ry Hour in Joy & Gladness past,
And each new Day shone brighter than the last,
When in Society I lov'd to join;
When to enjoy, & give Delight was mine? —
Now — sad reverse! in sorrow wakes each Day,
And Grief's sad Tones inspire each plaintive Lay —
Alas! too plain these mournful Tears can tell
The pangs of Woe my laboring Bosom swell!
Thou best of Brothers — Fiend, Companion, Guide,
Joy of my Youth, my Honor, & my Pride!
Lost is all Peace — all Happiness to me,
And fled all Comfort, since depriv'd of thee:
In vain my Lycidas thy Loss I mourn,
In vain indulge a Hope of thy return;
Still Years roll on & still I vainly sigh,
Still Tears of Anguish drown each gushing Eye:
Ah! cruel Time! how slow thy ling'ring Pace,
Which keeps me from his tender lov'd Embrace:
At Home to see him, or to know him near,
How much I wish — & yet how much I fear!
Oh! fatal Voyage! which rob'd my soul of Peace
And wreck'd my Happiness in stormy Seas?
Why my lov'd Lycidas, why did'st thou stay,
Shy waste thy Life from Friendship far away?
Tho' guiltless thou of Mutiny or Blame,
And free from aught which cou'd disgrace thy Name,
Tho' thy pure Soul, in Honor's Footsteps train'd,
Was never yet by Disobedience stain'd;
Yet is they Fame expos'd to slanders Wound, —
And fell suspicion whispering around. —
In vain — to these who knew thy Worth & Truth,
Who watch'd each op'ning Virtue of thy Youth;
When noblest principles inform'd thy Mind,
Where sense & sensibility were join'd;
Love to inspire, to charm, to win each Heart,
And rv'ry tender sentiment impart;
Thy outward Form adorn'd with ev'ry Grace,
With Beauty's softest Charms thy heav'nly Face,
Where sweet Expression beaming ever prov'd
The Index of that soul, by all belov'd;
Thy Wit so keen, they Genius form'd to soar,
By Fancy wing'd, new science to explore;
Thy Temper, ever gentle, good & kind,
Where all but Guilt an Advocate cou'd find;
To those who know, — this Character was thine,
(And in this Truth assenting Numbers join)
How vain th' Attempt to fix a Crime on thee,
Which thou disdain'st — from which each Thought is free!
No my lov'd Brother n'er will I believe,
Thy seeming Worth was meant but to decieve;
Still will I think (each Circumstance tho' strange)
That thy firm Principles cou'd never change;
That Hopes of Preservation urg'd thy stay,
Or Force, which thou resistless must obey.
If this is Error, let me still remain
In Error wrapp'd — nor wake to Truth again!
Come then sweet Hope with all thy Train of Joy
Nor let Despair each rap'trous Thought destroy:
Indulgent Heav'n in pity to our Tears,
At length will bless a Parents sinking Years:
Again shall I behold thy lovely Face.
By Manhood form'd, & ripen'd ev'ry Grace.
Again I'll press then to my anxious Breast,
And ev'ry Sorrow shall be hush'd to rest
Thy Presence only can each Comfort give;
Come then my Lycidas & let me live:
Life without thee is but a wretched Load,
Thy Love alone can smooth its thorny road;
But blest with thee how bright were ev'ry Woe!
How wou'd my Soul with Joy & rapture glow!
Kind Heav'n! — thou hast one Happiness in store
Restore him innocent, — I ask no more!
Nessy Heywood
Isle of Man Feb'y. 25th. 1792
[* Peter Heywood's poem from page 21.]
A Dream
Which happened to Peter Heywood Feb'y 6th. 1790 while he was at 'Taheite, an Exile from his Friends & Country owing to the fatal Munity [sic] on board H: M: Ship Bounty (in which ship he was forced to remain against his Inclination & not suffered to accompany the Captain in the Boat) related by himself.