Revised Jun 22 2021
On the occasion of a wedding sermon, preached by Mr. Nobbs, in Pitcairn Church, four young persons having, on the same morning, entered into the holy estate of matrimony, he took his text from Eph. v. 22, &c.:—"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it."
After speaking of the holy influence of the Christian religion, in restoring women to their proper place in society, he described the ignominy with which females are treated, not only among the natives of the islands of the Southern Pacific, but among the Hindoos, and Mohammedans, and the inhabitants of other countries, especially in the East, in which a false religion and absurd superstitions prevail. To this evil principle he attributed the custom, so long prevalent in India, of sacrificing widows at the funerals of their husbands, and wickedly destroying numbers of female infants.
"I am sure, my female friends, your hearts are ready to sink within you at the recital of such horrible atrocities; but it is the truth. Nay, I need only refer you to the account of the land from whence your mothers and grandmothers came. You have heard them declare how the women were degraded in their country, being looked upon as inferior creatures, and how often female infants were put to death. So true is it that the dark places of the earth are full of cruelty, But where the Christian religion obtains, there woman rises to her proper station the friend of man. Nor are her expectations of happiness confined to this life. She is informed in the Scriptures, that she has an immortal soul, which Christ died to redeem, and that after death she will be eternally happy or miserable, as she employs the talent here committed to her care. She will understand, also, that, as the Church of which she is a member is required to be obedient to the commands of Christ, its Head, so must she also be obedient unto her husband, and for the same reason. Christ is the Head of the Church, and the man is the head of the woman.
"How thankful ought every woman present to be when she reflects on the wonderful goodness of God in preserving the life of the late Mr. John Adams, until a knowledge of the Christian religion was extant among you! Had he been cut off when ye were in your childhood, in all probability your husbands would be bowing to a stock or a stone, and ye, instead of uniting in the worship of the true God, would not indeed have been permitted to enter the temple of idols, but would have remained all your lives the slaves of sensuality and caprice; despised by your tyrannical masters, scorned by your own children, deserted in your sickness, and without hope, and without God in the world.
"Bless God, then, for Jesus Christ, my female friends. Serve Him with sincerity of heart, and remember it is He that commands you to submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto Himself.
"Men and brethren,—To you I next address my discourse. On you chiefly depends the happiness of your families. Remember, when you entered the married state, you promised to love and honour your wives. See, then, that you are true to your engagements. Let Christ's love to his Church be an example for you to copy. To each I would say, Love your wife with a pure heart, fervently. Never speak disrespectfully of her to other people. Never call her ill names; neither be fond of showing that you are master before other people. This makes a woman feel her inferiority, and lowers her in the opinion of many. Avoid all occasion of controversy in public. If you differ in opinion, argue the matter over by yourselves, and you will come to a rational conclusion sooner than in company. See that your children pay a proper respect to their mother. Set them a good example yourself, and they will be easily taught to follow it. Children are imitative beings; and if they observe one parent indulge in sarcasms, or improper expressions at the expense of the other, they will be sure to do so too. Many children have been taught to despise their mother from improper appellations bestowed upon her by their other parent. If your wife wishes to send the children to any place, never countermand her orders without good reason: and then tell her why you do so. Whenever your wife sees fit to chastise any of the children, do not interfere in their behalf. By so doing, you teach them to set her authority at nought. But time would fail me, were I to attempt giving directions in every particular relative to the proper conduct of married persons towards each other, and towards their children. The Word of God abounds with instructions as to our mutual duties; I shall therefore conclude with this piece of advice:—
"'Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.' 'Live with them according to knowledge, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church.' 'Rejoice with the wife of thy youth, and be thou always satisfied with her love: for she is thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.' 'Go not after a stranger; and let none deal treacherously against the wife of thy youth.'
"'Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.' 'For after this manner in the old time the holy women, who trusted in God, were in subjection to their own husbands: even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well.'
"And for your comfort and commendation, and to induce in you a deportment in conformity with the will of God, remember it is expressly said, 'A prudent wife is from the Lord. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her; she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.'
"Husbands and wives, excite each other in the path of duty. Form the holy resolution, that you and your house will serve the Lord; and having made this resolution, persevere in it till death. Be diligent in reading the Word of God, and causing it to be read in your families. 'Search the Scriptures, for in them ye think ye have eternal life,' is a precept of our blessed Lord; and parents are in a peculiar manner bound to instruct their children in the knowledge of the Word of God. Family prayer is a duty as absolutely necessary as reading the Word of God; for prayer is an excellent means to render reading effectual. We read that our blessed Lord, when He dwelt on earth, promised a peculiar blessing to joint supplications: 'Wheresoever two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.' And to this, that we are commanded by the Apostle to 'pray always with all manner of supplication,' which, doubtless, includes family prayer.
"Remember, the time will come, and that, perhaps, very shortly, when we must all appear before the judgment-seat of Christ, where we must give a solemn and strict account how we have had our conversation in our respective families in this world. How will you endure to see your children, who ought to be your joy and crown of rejoicing in the day of our Lord Jesus, coming out as so many swift witnesses against you! consider this, all ye that forget to serve the Lord with your respective households, lest He pluck you away, and there be none to deliver you!
"Do, I beseech you, seriously reflect on what has been said this morning. It is the last day of the year; and who may be permitted to see the close of the approaching year, God only knows. Do but seriously and frequently reflect on, and act as persons that believe, such important truths, and you will not neglect either your own spiritual welfare, or your family's. And though, after all your pious endeavours, some may continue unreformed, yet you will have this comfortable reflection that you did what you could to make your families religious, and therefore may rest assured of sitting down with Abraham, Isaac, Cornelius, Hannah, Lydia, Mary, and Dorcas, and all the godly families, who, in their several generations, shone forth as so many lights in their respective households upon earth. Now the Lord Jesus Christ, who is God over all, blessed for ever, assist and watch over you, and keep you from all evil and sin here, and present you before his Father faultless at the great day of account.
"To God the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the blessed Spirit, three Persons, and one eternal God, be ascribed, &c. Amen."