Revised Jun 6 2021

No 80. Mr. P. Heywood to Miss N. Heywood.

Hector – Sep'r. 22^d 1792.

Had I not a strong Idea that e'er this mournful Epistle from your ill-fated Brother can reach the trembling Hand of my ever dear & much afflicted Sister Nessy, she must have been informed of the final Issue of my Trial on Wednesday Morning by my honor'd Friend Dr. Scott, I wou'd not now add Trouble to the afflicted by a Confirmation of it. — Tho' I have indeed fallen an early Victim to the rigid rules of the Service, & tho' the Jaws of Death are once more opened upon me, yet do I not now, nor ever will, bow to the Tyranny of base-born Fear. — And conscious of having done my Duty to God & Man, I feel not one moment's Anxiety on my own Account, but cherish a full & sanguine Hope that perhaps a few Days more will face me from the Load of Misery & Misfortunes which have ever been my Portion in this transient Period of Existence — & that i shall find an everlasting Asylum in those blessed regions of eternal Bliss where the galling Yoke of Tyranny and Oppression is felt no more, thro' the Merits of Intercession of our blessed Saviour! — If earthly Majesty (to whose Mercy I have been recommended by the Court) shou'd refuse to put forth its lenient Hand & rescue me from what is fancifully called an ignominious Death — there is an heavenly King & redeemer ready to recieve the righteous Penitent, on whose gracious Mercy alone I (as shou'd we all) depend, with that pious resignation which is the Duty of every Christian: well convinced that without his express Permission, not even an Hair of our Head can fall to the Ground. — Oh! my Sister ——— my Heart yearns when I picture to myself the Affliction — indescribable! which this melancholy News must have caused in the Mind of my much honored Mother! — But let it be your peculiar Endeavour to watch o'er her Grief & mitigate her Pain. — I hope this little Advice from me will be unnecessary — for I know, the holy Precepts of that inspired religion which, thank Heaven! hath been implanted in the Bosoms of us all, will point out to you & all my dear relatives, that, Fortitude & resignation which is required of us in the Conflicts of human Nature; & prevent you from arraigning the Wisdom of that omniscient Providence of which we ought all to have the fullest sense. — I have just had a most affecting Letter from my Uncle Holwell to whom I communicated what had happened during the former Part of this Week — Mr. Graham whose kind Friendship to me has been unparralleled is this Day gone up to Town to my Uncle Pasley whose Endeavours towards my Enlargement are unremitting — but these I cannot trust to — I have now more serious Business in Hand — the Care & Salvation of my Soul! — Sep 17, 1792 I have had all my dear Nessy's Letters — the one of the *17^th this Morning — but alas! what do they now avail? — the Contents of them only serve to prove the Instability of all human Hopes & Expectations! But my Sister — I begin to feel the Pangs which you must suffer from the Perusal of this melancholy Paper, therefore will desist — I know it is more than your Nature can support — the Contrast between last Week's Correspondence & this is great indeed! — but why? — we had only Hope then — & have we not

* see No. 69

the same now? — Certainly! — Endeavour then my Love to cherish that Hope; & with Faith rely upon the Mercy of that God who does as to him seems best & most conducive to the general Good of his miserable Creatures. — Bear it then with Christian Fortitude & Patience. — & instill into the Minds of my dear & now sorrowful Sisters, by your Advice, the same Disposition, & for Heaven's Sake! let not Despair touch the soul of my dear Mother, for then — all wou'd be over! — let James also employ all his Efforts to chear her spirits under her Weight of Woe. — My sincere Love wherever due — I will write no more — I feel too much my Sister's State of Mind — Adieu my dearest Love! — write but little to me & pray for your

ever affectionate

  but ill-fated Brother

    P: Heywood

P: S I am in perfect spirits, therefore let not your sympathizing Feelings for my sufferings hurt your ever-precious Health, which is dearer to me than Life itself — Adieu! —